2 already??

Not even a thousand days on earth yet, but thousands of ways that you've made our house a home. Thousands of ways that you make our hearts swell with joy and pride. Thousands of reasons we are always going to be grateful. Thousands of dreams you've planted in our heads.

- Your smile can wipe away any stress, worry or pain in this world.

- Your eyes - they twinkle when you laugh your cute little laugh

- Your crooked front teeth are the cutest crooked teeth in the world

- Your curls - oh your curls! Each strand has us wrapped around it so tight. 

- Your cute little "monkeyisms" - how you celebrate every little thing, throw your arms in the air and say "Yay!!"

- Your toddler language - here's what you say these days: "Now talking!" (instead of "Now we're talking!"), "Areh dhutt", "Chalo!", "I'll get it", "Why? Why? Why?", "I want", "You sit down!", "I love you", "I miss you", "Oh teri!", "Gi Gaya" (instead of "Gir Gaya")...and the list goes on...

- Your music. It resides in your soul. You first amazed us by singing along to baby songs and nursery rhymes. Then you amazed us by singing those songs when they weren't playing. In perfect tune, with the words clearly spoken. And then you completely blew us away by singing along to Hindi songs! We're yet to recover from the shock of hearing you sing "Main tennu samjhawan ki"! 

- Your kisses and cuddles - do you know how dearly we love each time you climb up behind us, hug us and say "I love you"? 

- The list goes on and gets longer every day. Our love for you grows everyday, and our gratitude for you grows everyday.

We're dreaming, we're smiling, we're taking in every minute of the joy in our hearts. And it's all because of you. And then, all of a sudden, it's your 2nd birthday! Happy Happy birthday my little "Monkey Jaan", my little "Bubba Jaan", my little "Cuddle Bug". (You're still young, so I can call you all these names and you can't sulk or fight!). Smile on, my little monkey man. And spread the smiles. You know you light up a room when you walk into it. May you always shine bright. May you always be happy.

And just like that.....

And just like that, it's been a year. Looking back in the rear view mirror at the last year, we see a "Baby on Board" sticker, we see a car seat, a baby in the car seat and baby's smiling face.

And just like that this little munchkin went from being a new born, to being an infant, to being a baby, to now a toddler! When did that happen? When did he start smiling, sitting up, pulling himself up to stand, cruising around, showing us his personality? I can so clearly picture walking into that hospital room last year, seeing the precious little face, tears in my eyes - tears of joy, love and mostly, gratitude. I'll always be thankful, and I'll always remember.

And just like that, it's been a year. Happy happy birthday R! Your squeals and giggles and smudgy sticky fingers, pudgy little toes, diapered butt and big blue eyes have made our house a home. We love you, no matter what. Always know that.....

When I look at him...

When I see his tiny 7 week old face, I don't see a white face.

When I look into his serious and intense eyes, I don't see grey blue eyes.

When I touch and see his soft silky hair, I don't see blond hair.

Instead, I see the face of my son. I see the eyes of the baby who was meant to be my son, and I see the hair of a little angel who has filled our lives with the very joy we've been longing to experience for so many years.

When I see pictures of DH, him and me, I don't see a trans racial family. I just see faces filled with joy, love and utmost gratitude. (Well, DH and I look a little tired, but it's a feeling of being tired that we've waited to feel for years. And it's a tired feeling we've gladly embraced and traded in our restful sleepy nights for).

By way of introduction - DH and I are Indian immigrants, living in the bay area, California. We have just adopted our baby boy R through open adoption. He is 7 weeks old and he got placed with us at  birth. This blog is going to be about our adoption story, the amazing family that R has connected us to (his birth family), and our lives as a trans racial family.

After 12 years of heartache, shattered dreams, fading hopes, we were scared to dream or hope. We also tried telling ourselves that life was good, and we didn't *really* need a child to make us happy. More like self-deception, although we were constantly aware of the gnawing pain deep inside that our infertility journey had left for us. We signed up to adopt and boy, did we get lucky! I'll write a post about our journey to R sometime soon.

When I look at R's handsome little face, I'm struck by the reminder of how very lucky I am to have him here with me. I'm so so grateful because I know R could have easily been placed with one of the many other waiting families, and we could have been still waiting.....